Some reasons to be cheerful....

I'm sat here at my old and trusty laptop.
Just thinking.
Knowing that I should be at work...
Thinking and thinking.And realising that I have gone on strike, just for a day.
My work will still be there on Monday, just a bigger pile of things I haven't done.
I awoke this morning on auto-pilot...stumbled from a daze of unsettled sleep, and coffee'd my way into an awakening of sorts...and then thought about just how exhausted I have been over the last few months...years in truth..but in particular these last few weeks.
Overdoing it. As simple as that.
And I thought about last night.
And knew that I had reached my limit of endurance.My maximum output.Reached.I had gone the extra mile, and then found some more reserve, and then just a tad more.
And then the tank ran dry.
The ice hadn't helped, perhaps I was low on body anti-freeze, who knows? What I do know is that in letting myself get to an all time low all I have done is let my friends down, let down the people who matter most to me.
It's time to change,time to find some time for myself, and on doing so find the thing that matters so much to me, time for my friends.Time for the future...
I had got in last night, and literally dropped into the sofa.
Dropped.
Coat still on.
And the coat stayed on for hours.
Until I could drag myself vertical and reach the shower, and then a return to the sofa, and oblivion until the new frosty dawn.
I looked out this morning and thought 'stuff it; this is no way to carry on, and so I am here,and realising just how badly I have let everyone down.But not anymore.
I have had some really good advice recently.
Really really good advice.
Inspirational.
Almost an epipheny.
Not almost, an actual epipheny.And I realise now that I am learning to fly.
Learning how to spread my wings.
And I know that I will relapse into the odd bout of over doing it, that's just my way, but I know I will REALISE when I am overdoing it, and that's the difference, because now when I gauge myself and what I have left to do before my eyes close for the day, I will have already left some fuel in the tank for those who really matter most.
And you know who you are.
Those who have helped me to escape to a new awakening.Those who I have not been in contact as much as I would have liked.
Those who matter the most.
Those who put so much time in helping me reach for the sky.
Thise who inspire me by the power of word.
And thought.And care.
And who have made me realise just how little I know.
And who have made me realise there is a way.That there is light at the end of tunnel.
And as I spread my wings, and reach ever upwards, all I ask is for those who matter most to please forgive my absences, my many failings, and just remember that as I learn, and sometimes learn slowly, in the middle of this student of life is the most cheerful person you will ever meet, the eternal optimist who smiles forever.
And I thank you for keeping faith with me.
Thank you for you.And so a new day, and a Christmassy one hopefully full of cheer.
I shall try to stay away from all work-related items, and get some fresh air, breathe in deep and open my tired eyes a little wider, and view the world in a slightly different light, and new light of realisation.
Anticipation.And set myself new goals.
And realise that there is so very much to be cheerful about.
Extra-cheerful.
My wonderful friends, who inspire me in so many ways, with simple words of wisdom.
Thinking here.
I think this will be a great Christmas, and I know I have already have the best ever present.
A new direction.
A helping hand.A fresh new start, and right at the start of winter!
Who would have thought.Smiling here.

And grinning like Alistair Sim's Scrooge, giggling with happiness knowing that there is still time to make changes to his life.
It really is a wonderful feeling.
Ahhhh....bliss.
Ok, lets get on with the day.My free day.
Giggle.
My 'on strike day'
What the hell, we have one life, let's go for it!Freeeeeeeeeeeedom.
Laughing here now to myself, and thankful for my faithful friends.
Thankyou.
You.
Thankyou.And know one thing.
I read your words, and take it all in,and if you look for a reply, know that I have replied inside.
For everything is learnt.
Each new day is a new page in my book of life, and I will keep turning the pages until my heart stops beating.
Some reasons to be cheerful.
You.